


Choose the Form of the Destructor

by femme4jack



Category: Ghostbusters (Movies), Transformers: Prime
Genre: Crack, M/M, Sticky Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-02
Updated: 2011-09-02
Packaged: 2017-10-23 08:27:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/248262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femme4jack/pseuds/femme4jack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bulkhead accidentally chooses New York City's Doom</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choose the Form of the Destructor

**Title:** Choose the Form of the Destructor  
 **Author:** Femme4jack  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Fandom:** TF-Prime  
 **Pairing:** Optimus Prime/Bulkhead  
 **Warnings:** Crackfic. References "sticky" bot parts  
 **Summary:** Bulkhead accidentally chooses New York City's doom  


 **Notes:** _Late submission to the tf_rare_pairing August challenge. I chose the 1984 Movie "Ghostbusters", and if you haven't seen the film, this crack will probably not make any sense. And...I didn't get enough sleep last night. That is my excuse. I picked Ghostbusters because it is one of the funniest movies of all time, and because Ernie Hudson, Agent Fowlers's voice actor, played the role of Winston Zeddmore, the 4th Ghostbuster (a fact that was the source of endless amusement to the VAs at the TF Prime panel at Botcon). Not that Agent Fowler appears in this, but it gave me the idea._

* * *

This time it was not Miko's fault. Not that Bulkhead would admit that his favorite human ever put them into precarious situations. But this particular incident was, to say the least, unique, and not her doing. Nevertheless, she had, unsurprisingly, managed to sneak along, and when he and Prime had arrived at the top of the apartment building that was the source of the strange energy fluctuations, she had been there waiting for them, having climbed the fire escape stairs. It was nothing new.

Bulkhead had been surprised Optimus had chosen him for the mission in the first place after Ratchet had detected the strange energy signatures emanating from New York City. The readings were powerful enough that they would likely attract the attention of the Decepticons as well. With the stealth needed to make their way to the top of the skyscraper, Arcee and Bumblebee would have been far more logical choices. Stealth wasn't really Bulkhead's thing.

Not to mention that as skilled a warrior as Bulkhead was, he always felt like a stuttering, bumbling fool when he was alone with the boss bot. You'd think that several thousand vorns or so would settle down the hero worship. And the recharge fantasies, for that matter. Because just like Optimus was never, _never_ going to pick Bulkhead to be in charge, Optimus also was not going to gently and thoroughly rub polish into every plate of Bulkhead's armor, culminating with the Wrecker's spike in an act of well deserved thanks for his vorns of loyalty and heroic action. It didn't keep Bulkhead from having the fluxes while he recharged, though.

Despite Bulkhead’s lack of stealth and plethora of nervous charge, they had somehow managed to ascend without being noticed by the screaming, fleeing humans. Or perhaps they had been seen and had been thought to be more of the strange, energy-based lifeforms taking on bizarre and horrifying shapes.

Miko had been there, waiting for them, taking photos of the hell hounds that were scarier than anything to arise from the Pit.

And then, the strange human-looking creature with eyes as red as any 'Con's had asked Optimus, "Are you a God?"

Optimus, being who he was, had launched into a speech about sentient rights, equality, and how, though his species might be more advanced in some aspects, it did not mean it was appropriate for them to be worshiped. But before the boss bot could truly get going, the strange creature had interrupted, venomously proclaiming, "Then die!" before sending an energy beam in their direction that nearly hurtled them off the side of the building. Bulkhead only just caught Miko in time.

"Optimus," Miko hissed. "If someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'YES'!"

"Perhaps you are right, Miko," Optimus had admitted quietly as he and Bulkhead recovered and took aim at the demonic creature.

Before they could fire, it had disappeared and a voice echoed over city, "Choose the form of the destructor." Bulkhead had tried. He really had tried to keep the image out of his processors. But then, suddenly, it had appeared, towering over the city with polish and cloth, armor loosened or even absent in several key places. New York City was about to be destroyed by a seductively approaching Optimus Prime who loomed larger than the tallest city former, lubricants dripping from his interface panel, threatening to drown those who were not accidentally trampled underneath him.

"Bulkhead?" the real Optimus asked, turning to stare at him with utter horror.

No, it might not have been his human's fault this time, but it didn't stop Bulkhead, in his panic from saying, "It must have been Miko!"


End file.
